The Colin scarf is made and worn to reflect on those in our lives who embody generosity through and through. For me, someone I call Colin. 

Colin and I met at a dinner party; he had brought a pineapple and thought he’d try his hand at a new kind of cocktail. Something he’d never tried before, and I think he didn’t love the results, but he wanted to share the recipe anyway. 

Through the night it came up that he was going to be a small business owner, and at the time I was doing research for what became the documentary Makeway, trying to talk to as many people who called themselves small business owners as I could. So a few days later I emailed him and we arranged to meet. Actually what happened is that I emailed him and in 20 minutes my phone rang, at which point I found myself in a rather unexpected situation; 1) in a conversation over the phone, 2) with a positive, upbeat, small business owner who seemed to completely get what Makeway was about. I was used to the picture of the small business owner you’re familiar with, the one who never has enough time. 

It turned out he was a couple months from opening a rather large new recreation space in an unassuming part of Brooklyn, with a business model, product, and type of space that no one had ever really tried before. So while he probably shouldn’t have had time, he found it anyway, and decided to spend some of it talking to me. And actually he came in on crutches, a slight motorcycle accident just a few days before. it was raining that day as he walked over to meet me. 

I want to share all the various humble, wise, and thoughtful perspectives he shared in that conversation, emerging as he talked about his vision for the business. There were many. But what stuck with me most came as he was talking about the inevitable stream of rejection that comes your way anytime you’re raising money and rallying support for a big idea. He talked about how it took him a long time to be okay with it; multiple years, even, spent internalizing a way to not take rejection personally. What he came to was something like this: “I think I’ve learned that the best way to deal with rejection is to be generous. To give and give and give, so that when others inevitably don’t give anything to you, you’re okay with it.”

“It sounds strange, I know….but do you get it? Like maybe you really get it?,” he asked quizzically, slightly knowing.  

And I nodded but of course I didn’t really get it at the time; I’ve had to spend my own multiple years really internalizing it, learning to be truly generous. But I think maybe I get it now. Or at least I’m trying. 

His business is booming, of course.